Greetings my fellow dankers! Your baked bard Martin here, and welcome to another episode of Dank Arisen! After leaving Cassardis for the dankest adventure for a few fortnights, Tobias and Lord Edwin get a bit lost in the woods and find what appears to be an Ab
*SEASON 1 IS ON MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL* :]
Greetings my fellow dankers! Your baked bard Martin here, and welcome to another episode of Dank Arisen! After leaving Cassardis for the dankest adventure for a few fortnights, Tobias and Lord Edwin get a bit lost in the woods and find what appears to be an Abbey. How interesting of a place for it. Lord Edwin has grown cautious of the place and fears there may be undead lurking about. No matter. They decided to look around anyway and find...yes, thank you captain obvious, a cottage. I wonder who lives here? Sister Kush? Sup baby! Have I given you any indication that I care? Anyway, do you have any snacks? I suppose not. Right, well it's been real. Let's make like a torch and get lit. Tobias and Lord Edwin make for the Abbey entrance. Lord Edwin grows intrigued about its isolated location, and what they find inside proves worthy. At the head table sit three sisters of the holy whatchamacallit. They appear to be staring blankly at a lantern, watching a moth share intimate details with the lighting. They're high as fuck. Tobias notices another sister of the moth, but she's sitting by herself at another table away from the others. Can't say I blame her. She sounds like she could use some good spirits, so Tobias gives her a jug of wine to perk things up. She is extremely excited, and again I don't blame her. Get crunk, my sister! Tobias decides to introduce himself to one of the other moth worshippers. Her name is Clarus and she appears to be sensitive, due to how she can feel that Tobias is missing his love, Selene. He wishes that she could adventure with him and Lord Edwin, but he understands that Selene hates people and the outside world. Except for animals and good cannabis. Feeling a bit high himself, Tobias decides to make a speech to these marijuana moths; he clears his throat and says, "Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna turn around and hurt you." The only one who didn't get Rick Rolled was Jolene, who knew she could never compete with that. Sorry, but you can't steal Tobias away from Selene, Jolene. Your once-eyes of emerald green are now bloodshot. Boom, roasted. Anyway, it's time to boot this clambake. The blasted fucks head outside, feeling on the edge of the earth, when suddenly, a splurge of undead corpses arise from the soil! The power of the Ganja immediately takes hold as Tobias rips through these rotted piles of filth. Lord Edwin conjures some holy light from the abbey to aid his brethren. The corpses fall with ease, but Lord Edwin seems to be having some issues. It seems that he got distracted by finding a spider on his cloak that he didn't even realize that an undead asshole was behind him. Tobias was able to shoot him down, only seconds before Lord Edwin just nukes the hell out of the already dead bodies. Someone should've had some indica. Oh hey, what are these tombstones? "Here Lies All of Your Hopes & Dreams." Well then, who is gonna go tell that to Sister Kush & the Moth Ladies back in the Abbey? Not these dudes, so who cares? It's almost daylight so this party is out the door for now my dankers! Tune in next time on Dank Arisen! Stay Dank.